Revision Blog 1 - Sentence Work
Sentences
Sentences are the basic building blocks of fiction. They carry the meaning of a text but in the hands of a skilled writer they can do a great deal more. In this Revision Blog we are going to look at:
Varying the length of sentences, and Building up rhythms within sentences
If all sentences were of a uniform length and uniform composition reading would be a very boring and monotonous activity. Good authors use different techniques to give variety to their writing. The craft of a writer is to employ these different techniques to produce the most appropriate and satisfying effects.
Varying sentence length
Sentences can be short. Each one with one piece of information. This makes them easy to read. Too many short sentences make writing seem abrupt. Or babyish, like in primary school text books. Longer and more complicated sentences tend to flow better but, because they contain so much more information, can sometimes be more difficult to understand.
The paragraph below consists of four sentences. Read it and think about why the sentences are of such radically different lengths.
Dusk settled and still Stacey had not come home. People returned from their appointed search routes, read the emptiness of the faces around them, and stayed, crowding the rooms and talking in low voices, waiting for the good news which could send them home. The Turners arrived, but they had no news either and by the time the wagon rolled into the yard, with only Mama and Mr Morrison in it, we all recognised that there was to be no good news. Not this night.
Let the Circle Be Unbroken p. 230 - Mildred D Taylor
The paragraph describes a group of people searching for a lost boy. They are in a state of anxiety and suspense for his safety and this is reflected in the construction of the sentences. The first sentence uses alliteration to slow the reader down; the 's' sounds in Dusk settled still and Stacey would turn it into a tongue twister if it was read too rapidly. This short first sentence also introduces the topic of the rest of the paragraph.
The second and third sentences are very long and complex. We can see how they work more easily if we put each section on a separate line.
People returned from their appointed search routes,
read the emptiness of the faces around them,
and stayed,
crowding the rooms
and talking in low voices,
waiting for the good news
which could send them home.
The Turners arrived,
but they had no news either
and by the time the wagon rolled into the yard,
with only Mama and Mr Morrison in it,
we all recognised that there was to be no good news.
Each new piece of information is added to the last, so that the sentences, like the search itself, go on for a long time and end with no good news. The reader has to wait, like the people on the search, to find out if Stacey has been found. So the way the sentences have been written helps to communicate their meaning alongside the words.
The fourth 'sentence' isn't actually a sentence. Not this night lacks a verb or action word. The lack of a verb is appropriate because it tells the reader that the search is over for the night and there is to be no more action. The three short words form a striking contrast to the long and complicated sentences that go before them.
Many different effects can be achieved simply by varying sentence lengths. Try some out in your own writing, for instance a whole series of short action-packed sentences to describe a fight, or a few long rambling sentences to describe how you might feel on a lazy sunny afternoon.
Building up rhythms within a sentence
As we saw in the last passage, writers can use different sentence lengths to up a rhythm within a paragraph.
It is also possible to build up a rhythm within a sentence. A sentence can move quickly, with lots of different action words - or more slowly and lazily. And either kind of sentence rhythm can help the description by matching what is being described.
The sentences below describe Ged, who has fallen into the sea after his boat has run aground in a storm.
He had lost sight of rocks and beach alike, and did not know what way he faced. There was only a tumult of water around him, under him, over him, blinding him, strangling him, drowning him. A wave swelling in under the ragged fog took him and rolled him over and flung him up like a stick of driftwood on the sand.
The Earthsea Quartet p.129 - Ursula Le Guin
The first sentence sets the scene and has no particular rhythm.
The second sentence uses a series of phrases, each consisting of a preposition (around, under, over, etc) and the word him to give an impression of the confusion that Ged feels as he is tossed about by the sea. The repetition of the same form of words gives an impression of the repetitious backwards and forwards movement of the waves.
The third sentence contains a similar use of the word him but in each case it is preceded by a verb.
took him
and rolled him over
and flung him up
Notice there is no punctuation in the sentence. This means there is a strong emphasis on the three verbs which give a vivid impression of the force that expelled Ged from the sea. The double use of and shows that the actions were virtually continuous - one strong
movement
posted by William Grosse @ 8:07 AM
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